Self-pleasure for Christmas

In my recent poll, 68% of you "lounged like Mary with family and friends" on Black Friday. Mary, the one blamed by her sister Martha for lazily sitting at Jesus' feet for story time, may have gotten it right. But that doesn't make the 4% of you who "toiled like Martha for family and friends" feel any better. (Sons of Martha might, however.)

Tied for second were the categories "Other" and "took advantage of the shopping deals."

Speaking of taking advantage of shopping deals, I came across an article at AdAge this morning about new holiday ads focused on me. The National Retail Federation

"recently highlighted J.Crew, which featured a 'Gift Yourself' section on its website, along with the text 'To: You, From: You.' And this week Gap is promoting sleepwear as the perfect gift to give yourself: 'Tuck Yourself In: Dots, pops of color, and soft flannel -- perfectly sized sleepwear just for you. Give (yourself!) the gift of good sleep.'"  

Photo by leapetey

I hadn't seen these ads, but certainly felt more desire to shop for myself this year. Maybe I picked up the vibe subconsciously. I went out at midnight on Black Friday to buy something for my wife. The 1000-strong lines sent me home empty-handed, but I had every intention of making the purchase and then proceeding to fondle numerous additional items I could imagine having as my own.

John Ross, CEO of Shopper Sciences, said, "It looks like retailers across the board widened the draw of their promotional assortment to appeal to a broader audience." (Broader sounds so inclusive, but the only audience added to what used to be a focus on you, is me. So broad, isn't it?) "To the extent that retailers can change their ads, we'd be advising them to do it," he said. "It appears to be something that the shopper is already embracing."

Of course we're embracing it.

What I didn't realize, but what would have been something to celebrate had I known about it, is that "Shoppers have actively tried to be less impulsive and haven't been spending on themselves for some time."

In Mr. Ross's world, this less impulsive bit isn't a point of celebration. It's a problem. It isn't a sign of stewardship or self-control, but a weakness in the system. His aim is to push retailers toward adopting a self-pleasure strategy because it's good for business. Buying for self isn't inherently bad, especially when the price is right, but to employ a self-pleasure strategy in the season most known for charity and altruism can't be good for humanity.

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Klothing Klout

"You and I can both be browsing the same site but would see different pricing and selection based on our current rank. For example, you might have a closet full of Levi's while I have none. When we both browse Levi's the price on your screen would be $72 while I'd see $78 for the same pair." 

          - RNKD start-up guy and Zappos co-founder, Nick Shwinmurn.

The idea is that I take pictures of my clothes, tag them by brand and then post them at RNKD. The more of a particular brand I post, the more likely I am to get deals on that brand, like a few dollars off a new pair, or a gift card. Klothing Klout, if you will.

(Nick, can I get clothes free for having a particular item for, say, 15 years, like my United Way Day of Caring T-shirt - now used exclusively for mowing with its am-I-even-wearing-a-shirt feel? This guy did. My Fruit of the Loom treasure dates "May 6, 1996" in faded red on the front. Got to be worth something to their PR department.)

If RNKD can't help me beat consignment and Sally's prices, $72 vs $78 won't make much of a difference for a frugal (and rare) shopper like me.

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Read the original article here. 

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My neighbor and his washing machine fire pit idea

Since we moved into our house last summer, we've been loaded with projects. It had been a foreclosure filled with dogs, loose hamsters, wayward kids and a lazy father who never finished anything he started. Then it sat for months discarded.

We've been on clean-up duty ever since.

My next door neighbor is an unusual renter. He's fifty-something, single, and conscientious. He treats his apartment like it's his and mows, weed-whacks, trims, sweeps, welds, repairs, decorates and inspires. This last part is what makes me think of him as one of the Joneses. I like Tom. He inspires me to work hard. If he's working, it's difficult to sit around. When I'm working, it's difficult for him to sit around.

This morning he came over to share a magazine article about a clever chap who built one of those fire pits - you know, the kind you pick up at Lowe's or True Value? Except this guy made his out of the drum of a front-loading washing machine. Attached three legs, turned it so the hole faced upward, and burned away.

See, Tom and I share ideas nearly every day and when we discover something we both like, we jump on it. In this way, we've unintentionally yet clearly become the Joneses to each other.

This realization struck me a few days ago when I noticed that our last few yard projects seemed uncannily related. I'm not trying to keep up with him. He just informs me of things I hadn't thought of. And I do the same. We're both frugal and believe in reusing, so it isn't like we're picking up two of everything at the hardware store. But we say "wow" a lot. And, "Hey, that's a great idea!" Then we split to our respective garages and go to work.

It isn't always so cut and paste, but Keeping up with the Joneses gets a bad rap too often. I think. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut for the sake of getting the consumeristic end of this social phenomenon to swing its pendulum rightfully in the other direction, but I've caught a glimpse of the good end and I don't mind it one bit. 

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365.07 buttloads of storage space: We have a problem.

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

According to Wikipedia, a buttload is "an old English unit of wine casks, holding two hogsheads.... Historically, a hogshead varied in size, but today in the United States is most commonly 63 U.S. gallons...so a butt is now 126 U.S. gallons."

Let's assume for a moment that I had done my fact-checking and it turns out that "buttload" exists as a unit of measurement. This would have three effects:

• First, I could respectfully use a term I confess to have enjoyed for many years among playful peers. 

• Second, because I care about accuracy, I would be required to perform calculations prior to using the term, as in the case of describing how many ticket holders will occupy the seats at the upcoming Super Bowl. No longer could I explete, "Wow! That's a buttload of people!" Instead, I would deliver a more refined, "My, that seems to be approximately 793.65 buttloads of fans."

• Third (and now I come to the point of this post), I could recognize, with both the decency and accuracy of the first two points, that we are in a buttload of trouble. To be precise, we are in 365.07 buttloads of trouble. This is the number that goes into 46,000, which is, according to the Good Housekeeping magazine I found open on our kitchen table earlier this afternoon, "the number of U.S. self-storage facilities...."

Of course people need storage units for various and legitimate reasons. However, the quote goes on to say that this number is "up more than 200 percent since the mid-1990s." Considering that the average new home size in the U.S. was 2,438 square feet in 2010, compared to a meager 1,500 square feet in 1973, one must wonder what, in the name of stewardship, we are doing to be defined by this increase.

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I know what I've been doing, and I realized it this summer when we moved out of our apartment. The living space took our pack of friends two hours to empty. The attic, basement and garage, six. We're still embarrassed.

We'll be selling and giving away a buttload of our stuff this summer. And I mean that in the vulgar sense.

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Pinched: Harris Interactive reveals who's cutting back the most

I knew people had been tightening their financial belts, but the following chart by Harris Interactive surprised me with who's cinching the most.

Either Gen Xers are the wisest or they've been the most careless. (Click on the image for a larger view.)

Advertising, as powerful as it is, can't compete with scarcity (real or perceived). Read more about the poll results here.

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Telling (most of) the truth

It's ironic how leery we are of marketers. We question their motives and accuse them of pushing agendas upon us, yet our own behavior imitates theirs every day.

Everyone stands for something, believes in something, supports something, and we frequently do whatever it takes to sell that something. Just consider the best foot a young man puts forward in trying to woo a pretty girl. It's not really him he's promoting - only the best of him that he wants her to see. Conference presenters, pastors, car salesmen, Mary Kay associates and Thai food fans do the same thing.

Of course, some of us may use more (or less) truth than others, but our intent is the same: to sell. Mouth closed or open, we tell others what we like and dislike, support and oppose, and in that telling we act very much like marketers.

I came across these two attention-grabbing political cartoons recently. They both sell ideas and also raise questions in me.




1. Do the cartoons tell the whole story about either the auto industry or Bush's presidency? If not, is there anything wrong with telling partial stories?

2. Do you tell whole stories or partial stories when you sell something?

3. What stands out to you visually and/or narratively that makes these cartoons compelling?

4. What compelling techniques have you used to convince someone?


Cartoons by David Fitzsimmons of the Arizona Daily Star and Pat Bagley of the Salt Lake Tribune.

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Is he REALLY that happy?

I'm interested to see how ads will reflect this volatile economic time. Will essential products step into the foreground? Probably. Will non-essential products beg? They already are with 0% financing and the like. Will companies smilingly promote non-essentials to suggest that all's well? Unfortunately.

Ad-makers, et al, I pray for you to keep your morals high and your consciences clean. You don't want to get through this and wish you'd lived it differently.

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